Wharton Essay 1 feedback

My reviewers came back with their feedback, and the verdict was not pretty. And here I was thinking I had written a literary masterpiece. The common theme I got was the lack of specifics to personalize the essay. i.e. You could have taken my essay and tagged any consultant's name onto it, and it would probably still make sense for the most part. Another area I need to work on is to show, not tell. Again this boils down to giving specific details to support broader statements.

Back to the drawing board, but at least I know version 2 will be much better.